Temporary Thrill

I medicate
to hide away
to find a way
to deal with me
I ease my pain
imagining
that anything is everything to me

No matter
what I’ve built for my own
what I want, what I need
is better
and no matter
what I’ve given to you
this feeling, this feeling
will be forever

for a moment
oh, this temporary thrill
I can do anything
on this temporary thrill
I know it’s killing me
this temporary thrill
but you must understand
that this thrill helps me
to be

oh, it helps me
yes, it helps me
oh, it helps me

I’ve really tried
once or twice
to gain my freedom
and I’ve heard you
begging me
and I promise you
that I’ve been listening

but you don’t understand
all these pieces of me
barely clinging together
and you don’t comprehend
that having me like this
is better than nothing at all

•••

Music: Soulganic

Words: Anthony Rodriguez

Flute: Tommy Lopez

Moment of Truth

If reality was just what you perceived
more like what you prefer it to be
would you accept me,
or even claim me?

This is the moment of truth
This is the moment of truth

If you were to trade places with em
and battle the scars deep inside of me
would you see things differently
or even let me be?

This is the moment of truth
This is the moment of truth

If you were to place all the blame on me
for the wayward paths taken by your seed
would that be my responsibility,
or if I gave it back, would you receive?

This is the moment of truth
This is the moment of truth

Is the rafter so large that you just can’t see
that there’s better places to spend your energy
whatever happened to mercy?
Am I not worthy?

This is the moment of truth
This is the moment of truth

What you feel about it
do you dream about it
is your scheming, lying
my sacrificing validating it?
What I feel about it
I can do without it
When it’s all said and done
I will become
so much more than this

•••

Music: Soulganic

Words: Anthony Rodriguez

How Does It Feel (Blood Money)

He was
eighteen just
tasting life
sacrificing

for the exotic
rhetoric
and gory

but he died
with his guts
in his hands
just begging

not knowing
that his blood
would bring them money

how does it feel
to purchase their pain
how does it feel
to brandish their blood
how does it feel
to be killing your brother?

keeping your
image iced
is at the cost
of his life

this is the
village raid
the darkness
the hundred and twenty days

is this what
they fought for?
is this what
they died for?

keep on spending
that blood money
blood money

how does it feel
to purchase their pain
how does it feel
to brandish their blood
how does it feel
to be killing your brother?

•••

Music: Soulganic

Words: Anthony Rodriguez

Forgotten Ones

We die
no one hears the cries
we cry
you don’t realize
we give our lives for your cause
living in these four walls
in the city of forgotten ones

We try
to rise above
we rise
only to get no love
we give our child to your wars
trapped inside your four walls
in the city of forgotten ones

and oh,
if there a reason,
is there a reason?
and oh,
is there a reason,
is there a reason?

we lie
only to find a way
we find
deception through the light of day
we have only so much to give
living what you give
in the city of forgotten ones

we strive
for a better life
our life
is what you decide
the choice is not ours to make
living without what you take
in the city of forgotten ones

and oh,
if there a reason,
is there a reason?
and oh,
is there a reason,
is there a reason?

•••

Music: Soulganic

Words: Anthony Rodriguez

Carry On

Sunday morning breakfast
lazy afternoon
watching you sleep
your peace
giving me mine

in my memories
your joy is everlasting
and happiness
is what you’ll always have
without me

since I left you all behind
I’ve forsaken my shelter
responsibility
is a shadow behind me

in all my memories
your laughter brings the sun
and the innocence
of our carefree times
with my beautiful ones

and though you don’t understand it
can you carry one, can you carry on?
just know I tried to be a good man
can you carry on, can you carry on?

I’m at peace with what I’ve done
begging for forgiveness
praying for you
that it will make you stronger

in all my dreams
your laughter brings the sun
and happiness as I fade a way
I see you carry on

and though you don’t understand it
can you carry one, can you carry on?
just know I tried to be a good man
can you carry on, can you carry on?

can you carry on?
will you carry on?

I need you to carry on

•••

Music: Soulganic

Words: Anthony Rodriguez

Make You Beautiful

Though I’m a common man
I can feel in your hands
little things
that lift my wings
and make me better, babe

I know you’ve been hurt & scorned
been through too many wars
you need a soul to make you whole
that’s what I’m here for

and if you only knew
how I see you
with all that you’ve been through
I’m gonna make you beautiful

it’s more than just the physical
though you are a sight to behold
you’re even more
if you look below
your pretty surface, babe

your trust hasn’t been taken lightly
I treasure your integrity
I respect you
and all you do
you’ve brought me dignity

and if you only knew
how I see you
with all that you’ve been through
I’m gonna make you beautiful

and oh, it doesn’t matter
’bout the preconceived
the restraints of society
that can’t tell you what to be
they can’t define
just look
on the inside

just look inside, girl
you’ll see what I see
you know what I know
I’m gonna make you beautiful

and if you only knew
how I see you
with all that you’ve been through
I’m gonna make you beautiful

•••

Music: Soulganic

Words: Anthony Rodriguez

Flower Child

Seeking wisdom,
insight deeper than my age
old man talking,
but about the things he’s seen
young girl crying,
wants someone to ease her pain
through it all you’ve been there
as the center of my being
my gravity
you’re a part of me

with you here, my flower child
I’m shining, and we’re rising
cuz you’ve shown me, flower child
what love is when it touches your soul

loving easy,
dissipating all my rage
making easy
investing in eternity
there is no place I’d rather be

with you here, my flower child
I’m rising, and we’re shining
cuz you’ve shown me, flower child
what love is when it touches your soul

and though the world may chatter
may try to turn us away
we’ve created all our future
in our present, babe
let’s live it out today

•••

Music: Soulganic

Horn Arrangements: Tony McCullough + Soulganic

Words: Anthony Rodriguez

Saxaphone: Tony McCullough

Melt Away

If you never meant to finish it,
then why even start it?
if you never meant to finish it,
then why invest the heart?
no respect is what I’m giving
cuz your manhood is gone
too old to face the truth
but too young to know it, too

you shoulda just been a man about
why you wanna melt away?

I’m not saying it’s ok
I won’t be the one to leave the wifey
I won’t follow the storyline laid
wouldn’t let the weak get the best of me
and I know I’m only on the outside
four walls know more than I
and drama has a way of building
and drama has a way of breaking

you shoulda just been a man about
why you wanna melt away?

•••

Music: Soulganic

Words: Anthony Rodriguez

Let Me Go

it’s true that all things return
to what we’ve been through before
and I suppose that I won’t be the last
to feel like it’s been told
still there’s no denying
that there’s more of you in I
that I don’t wish to claim
so I put up the fight
to believe my own lies
that color reality

looking in the mirror of my soul
of my soul
seeing you in everything, let me go
let me go

we never had the chance to be
you never got to see what I would grow to be
you never had the chance to show
what I was supposed to be
still you linger
and haunt and stain every breath I take
and your darkness resides deep inside
where it ought not
threatening to break

looking in the mirror of my soul
of my soul
seeing you in everything, let me go
let me go

won’t you let me be
won’t you let me go?

•••

Music: Soulganic

Words: Anthony Rodriguez

Run

Eddie had the cold steel
he’s gonna pull, gonna pull the trigger, now
he bore the brunt of my rage
I didn’t mean, didn’t mean to do it now

my sanctuary is flight
but my asylum is fleeting
I won’t go back, won’t return alive
nothing left for me to do, but run

thought about calling mama
even thought about calling the preacher
would you understand my innocence
cuz no one him to set me off like that

my sanctuary is flight
but my asylum is fleeting
I won’t go back, won’t return alive
nothing left for me to do, but run

I can’t stand to see the eyes of a killer in the mirror
I can’t bear the pounding
of my guilt, my shame, my regret, and anger
Eddie had the cold steel
he was gonna pull, gonna pull the trigger

my sanctuary is flight
but my asylum is fleeting
I won’t go back, won’t return alive
nothing left for me to do, but run

I just wanted a better life
isn’t that what we prayed for?
I just wanted the better life
I can’t go back, so I need you to carry on

my sanctuary is flight
but my asylum is fleeting
I won’t go back, won’t return alive
nothing left for me to do, but run

•••

Music: Soulganic

Words: Anthony Rodriguez

CREDITS:
Cory McClure (drums, keys) • Ryan McKeithan (guitars, vocals) • Anthony Rodriguez (lead vocals, bass, tambourine, shaker, castanet) • Lucas Torres (congas, bongos, batá drums, guiro, clave, cowbell, maracas, shaker)

Created in 2008 and 2009 in the Carolinas, USA

Written, composed, arranged, performed, engineered, recorded, produced and mixed by: Soulganic

Flute: Tommy Lopez

Saxaphone: Tony McCullough

Creative Consultant: Joe Kuhlmann

Mastered by: Joe Kuhlmann at 34th & Hudson, Charlotte, NC